Wilmer Valderrama has been a fixture of the small screen since the turn of the millennium, when he landed his first role in the massive network hit, That ’70s Show. After almost three decades in the business, the 44-year-old is now sharing the story of his life and career and offering behind-the-scenes stories even his biggest fans might not know in his new memoir An American Story: Everyone’s Invited, which hit shelves Tuesday (September 17). 

1. He still remembers the moment a kid showed him kindness about the difficulties of learning English.

In the book, Valderrama remembers his family’s journey, escaping the political unrest in Venezuela and struggling through poverty as they tried to make a new life in America. And he reveals the best and worst experiences he had with Americans early on in life. On the one hand, he had a random woman screaming at him while he tried to bus her table because he couldn’t understand her; on the other, he had a kind classmate make a concerted effort to say hello to him when others didn’t, even practicing his Spanish with the then-seventh grader when he could. That latter experience encouraged the eventual actor to press on and find his place in society. 

2. He perfected the Fez accent with some help from his little sister.

Valderrama recalled going on many, many auditions before he got a series of callbacks for a series that’d be called Teenage Wasteland. And when he was ready to come in for his fourth, he decided to make his audition stand out by exaggerating the nebulousness of his accent, adding a lisp, and making faces while he spoke. The first fan of his Fez accent? His little sister Stephanie, whose laughter encouraged him to bring it into the reading, where it secured him the role.  

3. He fangirled over one particular costar.

In the book, Valderrama shares fond memories of several of his former ’70s Show costars, including his all-day laugh sessions with Laura Prepon and his competitive gamesmanship with Ashton Kutcher. But the one co-star who truly had him starstruck was Kurtwood Smith, who he grew up idolizing in RoboCop.

4. One special teacher stood up for his right to graduate high school, and costars came to his graduation. 

When he got his role in That ’70s Show, his life was instantly busy. But he made a vow to his father to finish high school, and he stuck to it. However, some of his teachers weren’t pleased with the amount of class he had to miss to manage being a TV star and a senior, so they threatened to fail him, despite his good grades. One teacher took his side, however, and challenged his colleagues not to ruin Valderrama’s life just because of his career success, and it worked. He was cheered on by several of his costars on the show, along with his very proud family. 

5. He got the idea of Yo Momma from a surprising source.

When looking for an opportunity to branch out from That ’70s Show the way Kutcher had done with Punk’d, Valderrama kept his eyes peeled for inspiration, and it came from an unusual source: While watching TV one day, he flipped from 8 Mile‘s iconic rap battle scene to a moment in his first movie Summer Catch in which two characters insult each other’s mothers as trash talk, and the rest was TV history. 

6. He set the record straight on that plane incident.

In the memoir, Valderrama also remembers the harrowing moment when the plane he and costars Kutcher and Danny Masterson, as well as actor Colin Hanks, were flying from the Super Bowl and felt short of breath. Their plane, it seemed, had a faulty oxygen valve, and they had to share masks in order to survive while the pilot tried to make an emergency landing. As truly scary as it was, though, the actor clarified that, despite some tabloid representations of the incident, Kutcher did not give everyone CPR after they passed out. 

7. He turned down an NCIS spinoff and was handsomely rewarded for it.

In the book, Valderrama credits Tom Hanks with being his favorite Hollywood mentor after snap-casting him in Larry Crowne (without so much as an audition, much to his own surprise). But to get that influential opportunity, he had to make a tough call; he was offered a part in the NCIS spinoff NCIS: Los Angeles but just didn’t feel it was quite right. Turning it down was a risky move, but it was right after that that he was cast in the Hanks film, which changed his life. And, eventually, he got the chance to star in the network tentpole instead, which provided some rare stability for him for almost a decade.

8. He passed on an opportunity to smoke weed with one of his heroes.

Turns out, you can say no to your heroes. And that’s exactly what Valderrama did when offered a chance to imbibe on marijuana with someone he so deeply admired, Antonio Banderas. His decision to pass, though, was met with zero ridicule and only strengthened his resolve to make his own decisions authentically. 

9. He still gets recognized for this tragic role.

While the actor has had years of memorable roles on the small screen, the one he still receives some very vocal feedback from fans about is his arc on Grey’s Anatomy. In the show, he portrayed a musician with a brain tumor who was a romantic interest to one of the doctors, and the actor says he’s routinely shouted down at airports for how the show did the character dirty by killing him off. 

10. He got to take his mother with him to the White House as a result of his activism.

Last but absolutely not least, Valderrama devotes a lot of ink in the memoir to discussions of his deep sense of patriotism and work as an activist, particularly while performing with the USO and serving as a global ambassador for the organization. And as a result of his many experiences promoting good works — from Latino voter registration efforts and serving on a congressional committee to traveling into war zones to entertain the troops — he had the distinct honor to travel to the White House and have an audience with then-President Barack Obama and then-Vice President Joe Biden. He took his mother along with him and kept it a secret until they arrived. Valderrama also revealed that among his most treasured possessions is an American flag that flew over Ground Zero. 

An American Story: Everyone’s Invited is on shelves now.

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